This is it; as ambiguous as it gets.

Sunday, August 17, 2008
I am perplexed. Much to my dismay, I can’t point out exactly why. My heartbeat and breathing has been very irregular these days. I get panic attack occasionally too. Running recently has been addictive. My legs always have that hunger pangs to go miles and miles. It feels like the good old days when I had land trainings for Dragon boat. The question that linger at the back of my mind is if I still have that much gas to reach back home.
(Not to worry; EZ-Link is just a pocket away.)

As much as I want to rip my heart out and wrenched all the juiced out; just to get a peaceful sleep at night, I really wonder what is the main cause of this anxiety in me. Relationship back at home is good yet what am I lacking and yearning for? I don’t have that special someone to think about or worry for; maybe do I? Who the hell man? It couldn’t be Farid or Sharil. That is so out of question. I so ditched them beyond holes of holy holes. Well, holy, maybe.
(Don’t tell me something bad is going to happen soon.)

Let me shoved that aside, I have finished reading The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini. Boy, it was good. Very moving, usage of words is darn good too. Two thumbs up, I could even lift my two big toes. I can’t wait to start on The Girl in The Picture by Denise Chong. I shall indulge myself in books, organic strawberries and grape juice these holidays. Living healthily, shedding some kilos to a good 55kg, all prep up for Standard Chartered 10km and I would then be a happy goober and anxiety for a moment would diminish.
(Like typing the previous sentence down have somewhat help subside the anxiety.)

All that talk, I forgotten that I once want to write a dedication for my dear W14K. Semester One have ended, it’s a good start for me being in that class knowing nuts about Republic Polytechnic. I have to drag myself to school each day just dreading the bus rides to and fro. But, knowing the fact that class would be uberly fun and crazy; I persist. Semester Two is a whole new beginning once again. Now, this RP system sucks. I would have to relive my “first day primary one” moments over and over again for each freaking Semester in school. Oh, did i mention that SHL camp was a major flop. Period. Yes, I hate to play ball games with boys who have balls too.
Damn it.