This is it; as ambiguous as it gets.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010
TWENTY-FIRST DECEMBER 2010
Day Six

I wish this date had ceased. I hated myself so much that I didnt finish up the things i was supposed to do. The fact that I failed in those aspects that i know i could outdone myself. The fact that i totally let myself down. The fact that I bailed out. I bailed out on me. If that night's moment could eat me, it'd eat the whole lot of me. It's like a whole jar of cookies dropped and it was crushed to bits and pieces. Nothing could salvaged it; a lost cause.
Did i set my expectations too high? Or was my expectations pretty vague? Too vague that i was delusional. I was duped into my own trickery. I must have failed. I failed in juggling things; i failed in prioritising. I assume the other was of more importance. I assume that my decision was right, it would benefit me and what i gave up; in a matter of time that i'd gain it back. Does it work that way? Let loose. Let loose. Let loose. No matter how i put it, I am going to fall. And it's scary as hell. But, I have fall before and I managed to get up. I opened the blank envelope -(PictureofYou) Smile! Love, Hafiz. For I will smile, again.
You've talked to me through those silly secret number codes of yours, your hand-signs, your face, your doodles, your breathing. And most of the time, I understood; whatever you meant, your sighs and what makes you tick. Funny as it may sound, at times i knew the reason behind your silly antics or awkward acts. While you are there, I had some quiet times to reflect. The years you waited to make me yours was worth and im glad to have you as mine. Like Ive said it, there is never one person like you who looks at my eyes the way that you do. There is never a person who brushes hair out of my face the way that you do. There is never one person like you whose hug is so warm, safe and secure. It feels so close as though we can feel each other's heart beating.
This is my answer to you: It is hard to find someone who loves me for what i am without demanding to change the bits and pieces. You love the good, the bad, the cant throw things properly at you, the clumsy and silly, the pms-y moments of me.Lots of love, Fyzzah.